


love of my life

by paperplanesx



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Trigger warning - talks about suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23496946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperplanesx/pseuds/paperplanesx
Summary: “I love you.” Nayeon blurts out despite her conscience telling her not to do it.Jihyo blinks. “Nayeon—”“I love you, I love you, I love you.”Two best friends go play in the arcade with feelings that may or may not surface in the midst of it.[Trigger Warning - there are mentions of suicide in the story so please be mindful about it. Thank you.]
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Park Jisoo | Jihyo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56
Collections: Jihyo Ship Writing Challenge





	love of my life

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my lovely friend, Nyx, who loves NaHyo with all of her heart. And no, I don't kill off my characters. Love you to bits!
> 
> It's been a while since I wrote something that is not all fluff. The premise of the story is based on a dream I had two weeks ago, and writing this made me get it off my chest. You'll know why when you reach the end of it.
> 
> Should there are any grammatical and spelling mistakes throughout the story, I apologize in advance. Most parts are written at midnight while listening to Queen hehe.
> 
> Enjoy! :) #HappyNaHyoDay

Nayeon can feel her heart hammering against her rib cage with every step she takes. It must have been the dalgona coffee earlier when she woke up. She curses under her breath, mentally beating herself up for including one more tablespoon of coffee instead of the usual two as stated in the standard recipe. Right now the palpitations don’t help as she gets into the train along with other passengers, her grip to the pole tighter than usual. 

“Feeling tense?” A voice asks her. 

Nayeon jumps when the silence gets shattered, still blaming the coffee for causing her on the edge more than usual. She was met with the tender eyes of a middle-aged woman, along with a faint smile greeting her. Taking a shaky breath, the younger woman returns the gesture. “Had too much caffeine in my system,” she answers briefly.

The older woman nods and squeezes Nayeon’s shoulder. “First dates shouldn’t be this nerve wracking, dear.”

That definitely captured her attention. “I beg your pardon?”

The stranger chuckles, reaching something in her small bag and pulls out a small, rose pink pouch. She hands it over to Nayeon with care, as if the contents are fragile. “Here. You might need it more than my granddaughter does.”

Nayeon stares at the pouch for a moment before opening it to see a pale pink crystal, certain herbs encased in a small bottle, and a preserved maple leaf. A small note is inside the pouch and she reads it silently. “ _May the heavens bring you love and joy”_ , written in a neat script in red ink. 

Not that Nayeon doesn’t like receiving gifts but from a complete stranger? “Ma’am—”

The older woman shakes her head and gently pushes away Nayeon’s hands. “I insist. I’m getting the feeling that you need it.”

Heat rising to her cheeks, Nayeon bowed to the stranger in gratitude, just in time for her stop at the train station. She places the pouch in her bag and then slings it over her shoulder as she joins the rest who are also leaving the station. Somehow, the talk with a stranger (and getting a charm) relaxed her for a bit, her worries lessened throughout the whole ride. 

But then her heartbeat speeds up at the sight of a face she has come to know and love, a literal ray of sunshine with those beautiful blonde locks, gummy smile and energetic wave as she approaches her. Even though she’s wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, Nayeon can’t deny the fact that her date is still goddamn attractive in that outfit. 

“What took you so long?” The other woman asks while giving Nayeon a tight hug (one that makes her melt every time). 

“Had to calm myself down.” Nayeon gives a light-tipped smile. “I had coffee before I went here.”

Laughter. (Heart rate goes up). “Is it Mina’s dalgona recipe?” 

Nayeon lets out a giggle, ignoring that tingle beneath her ribs. _Be still, you lovesick fool._ “There’s still leftover whipped coffee so I had to make one. But I guess too much caffeine makes my heart beat faster than it should.”

The other woman frowns. “Nayeon, how many times do I have to tell you—”

“Lay off the caffeine, I know.” Nayeon finished for her, tapping the other woman’s nose lightly as she approached her. “I’m sorry Jihyo, it won’t happen again. I promise.”

Jihyo lets her shoulders relax. “I’m just worried you might be hyperactive the whole day…” she reasons.

“You mean not keeping up with my energy?” Nayeon answers cheekily. She then pulls the hood of Jihyo’s hoodie and places it over her head, covering the other woman’s face before running away in a fit of giggles. 

“Hey!”

With every chance she could get, Nayeon would always tease Jihyo, especially in moments like this. Just the two of them and doing what they usually do. The two chased around the open space near the entrance of the train station, not minding people giving them curious stares. 

“Okay…” Nayeon said after taking a deep breath, with Jihyo standing there with an amused look on her face. “You win. You're more athletic than me.”

“You should try jogging before you go to work.”

“Says the woman who’s still in university. Of course you have the time to be fit.”

Jihyo lets out a breathy chuckle as she helps Nayeon fix herself. “You’re a mechanical engineer, you work in a gaming company with Mina, and your schedule is much better compared to others. You definitely have the time to be fit.”

Nayeon only pouts while fixing her hair, and a loose strand falls in front of her face. Before she could reach for it, Jihyo instinctively tucks it to the other woman’s ear as if it were a natural thing for her to do. With the gentle brush of her fingertips, Nayeon can almost feel the heat rising to her neck and then to her cheeks at the gesture made. She has to pretend those soft touches doesn’t make her heart race.

“Where are we off to then?” Jihyo asks, making Nayeon snap out of her trance.

The other woman clears her throat. “I know this trip is a bit spontaneous and all but do you want to go to this new mall? There’s a huge arcade where we could try a lot of games.” She points at the new building that’s a few steps away from where they are.

Jihyo’s expression lights up like a Christmas decoration on the first day of December, her gummy smile making its way to Nayeon’s heart. She immediately grabs the sleeve of Nayeon’s jacket and pulls her towards the direction of the mall, squealing like a little kid. Nayeon just lets her, not because she dragged her best friend into her sudden trips but she has a soft spot when Jihyo becomes this carefree, wild child around her. 

It can only be her imagination but who cares? It’s their own little world anyway. And no one would dare to shatter it even if they tried.

...

“Two tickets please,” Nayeon tells the lady at the counter the moment they were next in line. They didn’t know that today’s the soft opening of the arcade and they’re lucky enough to secure the 199th and 200th tickets before they officially closed off the selling. Even more good news is they can use the place for as long as they like.

It even made Jihyo more excited than she was earlier. Out of the corner of Nayeon’s eye, she can see the younger woman doing her “happy feet” dance whilst hearing her humming a tune. Even if she couldn’t see the other woman clearly, it’s still a sight for her to see. Back then, during university days, Jihyo was that uptight kid from Physics class and always studied whenever she had the chance. On the other hand, Nayeon doesn’t pressure herself when it comes to academics because she knows what she’s capable of. It made the entire class envy her because of her good grades by doing minimal efforts. 

But now, she’s just glad she gets to see more of Jihyo’s carefree side. That’s all that matters.

“We could try a lot of things here!” Jihyo says excitingly the moment they enter the arcade, almost skipping her steps upon seeing the games offered by the place. Then upon turning to her right, she lets out a gasp. “No way! There’s more on the second floor?”

Nayeon looks at the brochure given to her by one of the staff upon entering. “Well, according to this, the arcade has three floors with around 150 games to choose from. And—”

Before Nayeon could continue informing Jihyo about the arcade, she’s already been dragged by the younger woman around the place, pulling the arm sleeve of her purple sweater with no hesitation at all. “Let’s just explore the place, yeah?” Jihyo says while still pulling her friend’s sweater (Nayeon would never mind because Jihyo's the one doing it). “We have all the time in the world. Just like old times.”

Fond memories flood Nayeon’s mind and her heart flutters at certain moments that she will forever remember. (She does hope that her sweaty palms wouldn’t be that obvious to Jihyo, otherwise she’ll just hope the ground will swallow her whole.). 

Nayeon smiles. “Yeah, we’ll do that. Do you want to try the shooting games first?”

...

125 tickets won and two and a half hours later, Nayeon can feel the life being sucked out of her as she wins another round of basketball against Jihyo. She tries flicking her wrist to ease the stiffness after barely winning against Jihyo with a score of 140-135, seeing the younger woman huffing in frustration (which is adorable in every sense). Earlier, she also won when Jihyo challenged her to a dance battle. They played continuously for around 30 minutes, with a score card of 6-4 (and they managed to draw in a crowd when it became too intense). 

“Sorry shorty, I just happened to have good aim.” Nayeon chuckles while Jihyo only pouts in response. Knowing her competitive nature, she sees Jihyo subtly eyeing the card given to them in order to play the arcade games, making Nayeon raise it in front of her. “You want to try again?” She offers.

Jihyo shakes her head. “I’m hungry actually. We should eat lunch first, then go back here? Or do you have any other plans?”

“We could do that. And no, I don’t have any other plans. We can play in the arcade for as long as you like.” Nayeon answers, putting the game card in her purse. Then she gestures to Jihyo like she offers for her to go first. “Lead the way, madame.”

The younger woman stifles a laugh before bowing in an exaggerated fashion, walking ahead of Nayeon as they go towards the food section of the arcade. Upon reaching the area, it’s a good thing that the queue isn’t that long. With sharing a look, they already know what to do without even asking the other.

“I’ll go in line for the food.” Nayeon says.

Jihyo nods. “I’ll go get some drinks from the vending machine.”

“We meet at table three?”

“We meet at table three.”

Nayeon heads straight to the line while Jihyo walks toward the vending machine, with an aisle full of drinks to choose from (non-alcoholic of course). After a few minutes of going back and forth (and bought her own drink), she finally found the vending machine that sells grapefruit-ade in glass soda bottles. After getting the bottle, she comes across a crane machine that has a variety of sweet foods. 

_Nayeon might be waiting for me at this time, but it wouldn’t hurt to at least surprise her with something sweet._ She inserts the amount needed to start the machine and proceeds to win numerous items to give as a “surprise”.

With ten minutes have passed, Jihyo arrives at the table with boxes of chocolate, biscuits, and one strawberry cake. Nayeon is amused as her friend piles up what she had won, and carefully places their drinks on the side along with the food. 

“I won a lot in the crane machine.” Jihyo says proudly, showing her gummy smile once again. 

Nayeon can’t help but to grin as well. “I’m impressed. What did you win?”

Jihyo looks over the boxes, biting her lower lip as she tries to read the labels. “The first thing I’ve won are chocolate biscuits. The second are chocolate pearls, Godiva at that—”

“They have branded chocolates in those machines?”

“Yeah. Oh and then the third would be Koala’s March. I got the chocolate and the strawberry kind.”

Nayeon laughs at the sight of Jihyo looking like an innocent child who shows off the prizes that she has won. “Okay, go on. What’s the next?”

Jihyo picks up a small box and a large tin can. “So these little things are chewy candies, it’s banana flavored.” She explains before gesturing at the large one. “Then this large one has chocolate flakes inside.”

“Then you won this strawberry cake? As a grand prize?” Nayeon holds up the tiny cake encased in clear plastic for anyone to admire before opening it. “Are you going home with all of these?”

“Yes and no.”

The other woman raises a brow in response while taking a bite from her jajangmyeon. “What do you mean by that?”

“I, um, I planned to give it to you,” Jihyo answers sheepishly, scratching her chin lightly with her index finger. “I kind of assumed you were still in line since it’s a bit long and I had time to spare after getting your favorite drink so I stopped by some crane machines piled with treats and I thought I could get you one, you know? As a surprise—”

Nayeon immediately pinches Jihyo’s lips, trying her best to keep a straight face. “You’re adorable when I do this to you but hold your horses Park. You’re starting to ramble again.” Then she releases her hold. “Okay, breathe.”

Jihyo did as she was told, taking one more deep breath before she started to speak again. “I just wanted to surprise you. That’s all.” She says in a quiet voice, a small smile tugging her lips.

_Badump._

The engineer's lips curl upward, breaking into a toothy grin as she places her hand on Jihyo's cheek, tapping it lightly. It's indicated as a form of response for the both of them; Nayeon's way of expressing gratitude without even saying anything. 

“You know you don't have to…”

Jihyo chuckles, now taking her not-so-hot jajangmyeon that was placed in front of her. “Nay, I wanted to. Because it's you.”

Only a smile accompanied that response. A table full of sweet goods, favorite drinks, two plates of jajangmyeon, a basket filled with fried chicken, and a lovely woman to accompany her is something Nayeon never knew she needed. 

...

“Nayeon-ah! Do you see that Molang stuffed toy in that machine over there?” 

Nayeon follows Jihyo’s pointer finger until her eyes land on what’s supposed to be one of the most frustrating and annoying claw machines someone would ever play. Basically, there’s a container filled with ping pong balls and the player has to get one using the claw and must fill at least two marked slots from another container placed inside the machine. 

She gives Jihyo a look and instantly shakes her head. “No no no no no—”

The younger woman pouts. “It’s a limited edition Molang! Look at them hugging Piu Piu. You loved watching them on Youtube in our dorm room when you had nothing else to do.” 

“Jihyo-yah…”

Jihyo didn’t listen to Nayeon’s pleas because she went straight for the machine and swiped the game card in order to start the game. She bites her lower lip as she presses the button upon making sure that the claw is in the pile of ping pong balls. 

“Come on, don't fall…” Jihyo whispers as the claw dips into the pile and manages to get one.

_Well, easy for you to say_. Nayeon thought while she watched her play seriously from the side. 

When the claw releases its hold of the ball, it gets into the other container and bounces in between slots. Jihyo breathed through her nose when the ball didn't get into the marked one, which was a slot apart. She swipes the card again and the machine comes back to life. 

It managed to get two balls, but neither fell into the marked slots. 

Jihyo tries again, but this time, the ball falls from the claw's hold. 

Another swipe from the game card, another failed attempt. 

She swipes again. The ball was about to get into the marked slot but the God of Gravity might have decided to place it next to an unmarked one. 

Jihyo shakes her head and furrows her brows, clearly upset on how the game is going. “I thought it wasn't THIS frustrating.”

Nayeon crosses her arms, a brow raised. “Well it is one of the most frustrating claw machine games ever known.” She points out.

“You're not helping, Im.”

“Right, right.”

Jihyo then goes back to the machine and tries again for the fifth time. It didn't work as another ball fell into an unmarked slot next to the marked one. 

“Fuck this shit.”

Nayeon let out a dramatic gasp. “Miss Park Jihyo? The incumbent university student council chairman? Cursing over a machine? My, my, I've got to say I'm impressed.”

The younger woman frowns at her before going back to the game, earning a hearty laugh from her.

Ten minutes have passed and Jihyo hasn't managed to get a ping pong ball into the marked one. She kicks the machine in frustration but her eyes tell a lot, wanting to win that plushie if she could. 

“I'm sorry I couldn't win that Molang for you,” Jihyo says dejectedly. Her voice went from loud to tiny, looking so small after all of that pent up frustration she had over that game. “It’s your favorite character…”

Without saying a word, Nayeon takes the card from Jihyo and swipes it in the card slot, making the machine turn alive once again. “Might as well try playing this while you rest for a bit. Wait for a little while, love.”

_SHIT._

Nayeon prayed to the gods that Jihyo wouldn’t hear that slip, eyes widening as she carefully moved the stick over the pile of ping pong balls. 

_God, if you’re out there, please be on my side today. Scold my dumbass mouth later, but please help me out here._

She held her breath as she pressed the button, the claw securely getting a ball and transferring it to the next container. Her body tenses when the claw releases its hold and the ball enters the container, bouncing on top of the others until it lands securely on the marked slot.

“What?!”

Nayeon flinches at the tone, her heart beating faster than it should. _Please for the love of—_

“How come you did it on the first try?” Jihyo asks, her eyes focused at the machine and not at what she said.

A huge wave of relief surges over Nayeon, not realizing she held her breath for so long when a soft exhale escapes her lips. “It’s just luck,” She brushes it off, hoping her facade wouldn’t falter. “I hope this next one would finally seal the deal.”

She swipes the card once again and goes to work, moving her hands with such precision. She can hear Jihyo taking a quiet inhale, as if any slightest movement may break the bubble of luck they have right now. Nayeon then presses the button, leaning back while the claw does the rest. 

The screams they let out the moment the ping pong ball landed on the second marked slot actually startled the people around the area. They apologized profusely before they celebrated again for winning the stuffed toy. They call an arcade worker to show them what they have won and he happily opens the machine for them, taking one of the eleven limited edition Molang stuffed toys from the shelf and hands it to Jihyo, congratulating them once again before he goes back to his duties. 

With the excitement diminishing quickly than it should, the two stand there in comfortable silence. Jihyo looks at the stuffed toy fondly for a moment and then holds it in front of Nayeon with the biggest grin on her face. “Here,” She says. “It’s for you.”

Nayeon’s expression falters for a bit, taking Molang with slightly shaky hands. “T-Thank you.”

“Say it again.”

Her heart got stuck in her throat. “W-What…?”

Jihyo takes a step closer, a soft expression crosses her features in a way Nayeon could hardly describe. “Say it again.” She murmurs. 

“I don’t...I…”

“Say it. I'm the only one who could hear it.”

“I love you.” Nayeon blurts out despite her conscience telling her not to do it. 

Jihyo blinks. “Nayeon—”

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

_Damn it. Now what you dumbass?_

Jihyo didn’t say anything. Instead, she hugs Nayeon tightly and rests her head on the older woman’s shoulder. She pulls her closer by wrapping her arms around her waist. “Really?” She asks in a whisper.

“I do,” Nayeon answers with no hesitation at all. “A few years back.”

(Did the bubble pop?)

...

“When did you realize you liked me?”

Nayeon nearly choked on her Subway sandwich while still hugging her stuffed toy with her free arm. She doesn’t like the feeling of how Jihyo is way too comfortable in the situation that they’re in. After all, she confessed to her crush of three years (and counting) and that said crush is asking her how it all started. 

Maybe God isn’t at her side today. 

After winning Molang, they stayed for a little while in the arcade until they were satisfied with how they played in the games that they’ve tried. With almost nearing dinner time, they bought take-out Subway and stayed at the benches near the arcade. In the silence they shared, Nayeon feels on the edge the whole time. Jihyo hasn’t said anything negative regarding the confession nor anything positive. It’s driving her nuts.

If Mina were here, she would’ve scolded Nayeon again. She’ll take that over this anxious feeling she has right now.

...

_“You nearly confessed to her again?” The look in Mina’s face is indescribable. She would definitely help Nayeon in a heartbeat, even bet her life on it. But it has its consequences though. Nayeon plus stupid decisions? It means disaster. And her cue to calm down a panicking bunny._

_“That’s the thing!” Nayeon wails over her friend’s penguin pillow (Mina would definitely clean that up after this). “I didn’t know if that was a confession or not because Jihyo reciprocates it like it’s nothing!”_

_The second year IT major heaves a sigh while thinking of ways to provide perspective about the problem (and musters all of her strength not to hit her good friend in the head). “How many years have you and Jihyo became friends?”_

_“A year ago.”_

_“And you’re close to the hip, yes?”_

_“Well, yes. But—”_

_“Then there’s a hundred percent chance that Jihyo took it as a platonic gesture, not as a confession.”_

_Nayeon looks up from the pillow upon realization. “...Really?”_

_Mina looks at her friend like she’s so done with her today. “Yes, stupid. I can’t believe you’re already in your fourth year in engineering with the highest grades and you still fuss about spilling your feelings to your crush.”_

...

Nayeon smiles at the thought of Mina saying about how she graduated in a prestigious university in South Korea with the highest honors but can’t even save herself from this situation. She would probably never hear the end of it when she tells her friend about what happened today on Monday. 

But her thoughts were interrupted when Jihyo started to speak. “Do you remember that time when we were all required to take the Physics finals?”

“Yeah, it was the most stressful week of your first year. It didn't help that the department decided that everyone who enlist their subjects should take the final exams, whether or not they have good grades throughout the whole semester.” Nayeon answers with ease, though still not sure about the sudden trip down the memory lane. 

That was one of the most memorable days of her life. Because that’s when she started to like Jihyo more than as a friend. She can still remember clearly the fluttering feeling in her chest whenever she goes to see her to help her review for the final. Of course, Jeongyeon being Jeongyeon, easily picked up the intention behind those tutor sessions which leads to teasing her non-stop. (She didn't help in keeping it a secret no thanks to her loud voice and constant bullying to her longtime friend).

“You helped me in solving problems in ways that made my life easier on the day of the exam itself.” Jihyo says with a breathy chuckle, looking down at her sandwich. “You were so patient with me, even though I'm having a difficult time with Physics.”

“It wasn't an easy subject to begin with,” Nayeon tells her. “Context has always been the key in order to pass but not everyone could grasp it in such a short amount of time.”

“No wonder you finished as the valedictorian of your batch.”

“I will not take that as a compliment.”

“You always underestimate yourself, Nay. You deserved that recognition.”

“And I didn't like it because it took a toll on me in the first few months at work.” Nayeon explains, shuddering at the thought of it. “Peer pressure is definitely real in the workplace, Ji.”

Jihyo quietly reaches out for her hand, gently touching it. Nayeon would definitely be lying if she doesn't admit that the gesture makes her heart race. With the way the younger woman brushes her fingertips over the back of her hand, almost hovering them, before she turns it over—palm facing up so she could fit in the small gaps between Nayeon's fingers with her own. It’s the best kind of comfort she would always give Nayeon whenever she’s stressed.

“Two years without Mina in that company didn’t sit well with me,” Nayeon continues, subconsciously putting her food and stuffed toy on the side. “Everyday at work feels like I’m walking on a tightrope. My boss isn’t helping either. He kept on giving me orders until everything piles up. Colleagues were pestering me because what I do is always mediocre compared to the praise I used to receive in university. Then all of a sudden, dark thoughts enter my mind…” She chokes on the last part, clearing her throat to prevent any kind of emotion spilling out that it already has.

Jihyo squeezes her hand tightly. “Shhh. It’s okay. You’re okay now.”

The older woman takes a deep breath. “I was on the verge of giving up. Take my own life, you know? Everything overwhelms me and I don’t know how to deal with it anymore.” She says, swallowing a lump in her throat at the memory of it. “I was ready to take those pills and go to sleep, hoping I wouldn't take up the next day. Then you kept knocking on my door that night.”

“I-I was scared, terrified even.” Jihyo confesses. “I didn’t know how to reach out to you. When you didn’t answer my calls after you texted that you were so tired of everything, I...I cried while going to your apartment.” She pauses, shuddering lightly upon remembering that night. She bites her lower lip to give herself a moment before she speaks again. “I prayed to every deity out there while I dialed your number again and again, because I wanted to make sure you’re still breathing by the time I reached your place.”  
  


Nayeon looks at Jihyo with guilt but the latter shakes her head, reassuring her that it’s fine. “I’m just grateful you forgot your spare keys in my dorm room days before. Otherwise I would’ve lost my mind about it.” Jihyo tells her. 

“I’m sorry I made you worry. It won’t happen again.”

Jihyo laughs softly. “Don’t be. I did drop everything that night just to be at your side for as long as you need me to. Then we went to a therapist after that. I never left you.”

Nayeon frowns. “It caused you your finals for a major and your overall grade, you goof. It forced you to take it again next semester.”  
  
The younger woman waves it off like it’s nothing. “Correction, I didn’t repeat the entire subject. I just had to complete the finals exam at any time of the second semester.”

“I made you delay your graduation.”

“And I have more time to do my undergraduate thesis.”

Nayeon sighs. _Of course_. When Jihyo is firm with her decision, there’s no way one can change her mind about it. She decides to drop the argument and looks at their intertwined hands. It’s not the first time they did so but she used to be nervous when it happens, worried that her sweaty hands would make Jihyo uncomfortable.

“It fits perfectly,” Nayeon says in a low voice, lips slightly parted in wonder as she keeps on admiring their hands held together. “I didn’t know it would look this lovely.”

“I thought so too.” Jihyo agrees, then smiles at Nayeon, like that soft expression is meant for her and her only. 

She could melt at the sight of it if it can. “I started to like you during the time we were preparing for the Physics final.”

“When you offered to help me review?”

Nayeon looks away shyly, feeling the heat rising to her cheeks. “Yeah. You’re pretty and I didn’t know how to start a conversation with you back then. It took me almost the entire term before I had the guts to talk to you for the first time.”

Jihyo hums, her brows raised in wonder. “Funny, because when I first saw you on our first day of class, I thought you’re really pretty.”

...

_Jihyo went to her very first class a little earlier than usual. It’s scheduled to start at ten in the morning but she arrived thirty minutes before, making her the lone student waiting inside the classroom. Who the hell would even dare to take Physics as their first class in their first year?_

_She was desperate to get the subjects she needed in order to enroll. Luckily, this class is considered as one of her electives. It doesn’t go astray that much as she is an Architecture major and it wouldn’t cause her delay of graduation._

_Like the good student she is, she sits in the front row but chooses the seat on the far right, near the door, so no one would really notice her when they enter the classroom. She opened her phone to pass the time and it helped her ease her worries for a bit because students are now entering the room one by one, until the whole classroom is almost full five minutes before the time._

_The professor comes in and arranges his things at the table. He picks up a paper, which is probably the class list, and starts to call attendance for the students. Jihyo relaxes a bit at the fact that there are also freshmen like her in the class, maybe she could be friends with them and review together for the exams…_

_“Im Nayeon?” The professor calls out to the class. No one raised their hand._

_Are they late? Jihyo thought, feeling bad for the person who’s already late on the first day of the school year._

_“One last call before I mark you as late. Im Nayeon?”_

_“Present!” came a voice from Jihyo’s side of the door. She looked up and she swore her breath got caught in her throat, her eyes landing on probably the most attractive person in the room right now. The newcomer is breathing heavily, probably from all that running, and her hair’s looking disheveled, but even if she looks like a mess, Jihyo still finds herself staring at her for a while until she finds a seat on the other end of the classroom._

_Hearing the professor call the attention of the class made Jihyo snap back to reality, and she instantly knew that her first term in college would be more interesting than she had imagined._

...

“I woke up late that time,” Nayeon recalls. “I came back from an international conference the day before, because I presented my work in front of gaming companies who will hopefully hire me when I graduate. My body clock wasn’t ready for it, as you saw.”

Jihyo giggles. “Even if you look disorganized, you’re still pretty in my eyes. Well, at least during that time.”

“Stop with the compliments, I'm not that pretty.” The older woman groans, hiding her face with her free hand.

“You are to me.”

“Park Jihyo.”

“Im Nayeon.”

Nayeon breathes through her nose, giving Jihyo a disappointed look. Jihyo returns the same gesture as well. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Yup. So you should accept it as it is.”

Before Nayeon could respond to that comment, her phone buzzes in her jeans pocket. She takes it out and sees Mina reminding her of the company meeting online at 9 PM. Looking at the time, it’s already 7:00 in the evening. She has the inner turmoil of whether or not to break the peace between her and Jihyo, in order to inform her she still has work on a Saturday.

Against her better judgement, she replied to her friend’s message.

_I’m with Jihyo today. I might come home around 8:30 and have to fix myself to look presentable. Stall for me?_

In an instant, Mina gives her reply.

_You lovesick fool…_

Followed with another message. _Okay fine. I’ll start off the meeting with my report so you’d better tell me what happened today or else you’ll take the bus on Monday._

Nayeon scoffs at the message, before sending her own. _Duly noted with thanks, Miss Myoui._

“Wanna walk around?” Nayeon offers. “We still have time to spare before I go home.”

“You’re leaving early?” Jihyo asks, laced with a tone the older woman couldn’t describe.

“It’s work. We’re required to give our monthly reports at an online call later.”

Jihyo then stands up, dusting off the crumbs on her lap before bringing some of the items they’ve won in the arcade. She helps Nayeon afterwards and then they’re ready to go. 

“Ah, Jihyo-yah…”

“Yes?”

“I have a request for you before we walk outside.”

Jihyo nods, despite being unsure of the favor. “Okay.”

_Don’t do it._ “Hold my hand like we’re a couple.”

“Nayeon, don’t do this.”

_Don’t say it, stupid._ “Just for an hour. Please?”

Silence.

_Nayeon, don’t beg for it._ “Is that too much to ask from you?”

Jihyo purses her lips for a moment, then smiles. “Of course not.” She gently takes Nayeon’s hand and effortlessly laces their fingers together. “Is this okay?”

_You’ll regret this, Im._ Nayeon grins, her heart heavy. “It’s more than okay. This is perfect.”

...

_“Yo, Nayeon—Whoa, what the fuck happened to you?” Jeongyeon brought groceries and take-out food for her friend when she saw her with tear-stained cheeks and her room a freaking mess. Papers are scattered, folders are open, books are everywhere, and a pile of cup noodles are on one side of Nayeon’s working table._

_Nayeon looks at her before burying her face into Mr. Bunny, a bunny stuffed toy Jihyo gave on her 23rd birthday, letting out a sob. Jeongyeon didn’t say anything other than mutter a “dumbass dork” while tidying up the room without hearing an explanation from the other._

_When everything’s neat and tidy, she approached Nayeon who’s still crying non-stop. Even if she didn’t say it explicitly, Jeongyeon might have an idea what happened. She sits beside the older woman, rubbing circles on her back to somehow help soothe her. “I know, Nabongs. Just let it all out.” Jeongyeon says in a low tone._

_“Maybe...Maybe I do deserve to be called stupid…” Nayeon sniffs, still covering her head with the stuffed toy._

_“Well if the summa cum laude calls herself stupid then what am I then?”_

_“You’re supposed to comfort me, idiot.”_

_“Ah, you’re stupid and I’m idiot. Well, that would be fair.”_

_Small laughter comes out of Nayeon, and Jeongyeon knew it’s the kind of comfort her best friend needs at the moment. “I know how it feels…” Jeongyeon pauses, finding the right words to say. “Well...you know...confessing way too late.”_

_Nayeon looks up a little bit to meet her friend’s eyes. “You cried over Tzuyu being in a relationship before you even confessed. You were a mess back then.”_

_“Right now, so do you.” Jeongyeon answers back, a small smile tugging her lips as she stands up to get one of the tote bags. “Come on, I brought some dumplings and tofu rice. You need to eat something other than cup noodles. Then we’ll talk about what happened?”_

_Nayeon gives a faint smile. “Sounds like a good plan.”_

...

To Nayeon, it’s the longest walk she ever had in her life. It wasn’t torture nor was it pleasant. It’s just a peaceful walk around the park near the train station, with park lamps lighting their path. None has said a word all throughout but they can feel the uneasiness of one another while they still hold hands.

“This is nice,” Jihyo says after that long silence. “I never thought I could do this with you.”

“Really? I thought we do this all the time?”

The younger woman frowns slightly. “Not like this. Not when…” She clears her throat. “Not when both of us are aware of what we feel for one another.”

Nayeon stops walking, and so does Jihyo. That shared, intense gaze is enough for them to lure each other in, with their intertwined hands falling in front of them. “Are you saying…?”

“I used to, Nay.” Jihyo clarifies, not realizing how those words sting the moment it leaves her lips. “No...that’s not right. I still do but—”

“Shhhh.” Nayeon places a finger on Jihyo’s lips. “I know. You don’t have to say it out loud. I want to stay in this little bubble of ours for as long as I could before I go home.”

“...Okay.”

They go on with their little walk, but instead of roaming around the park, both of them know they should be heading to the train station as it’s nearing eight o’clock in the evening. With every step Nayeon takes, it gets heavier, like she didn’t want to move any further. She prays for more time. She needs time to savor this. Her and Jihyo, alone together. 

Nothing will be the same after this day. They both know it.

Before she could even process it completely, Nayeon realizes they’re at the station already. Reality hits her like a bullet train. The bubble they’ve created popped in an instant and the warmth they felt earlier is now replaced with tension. Neither had the guts to say it out loud nor do they want to break the very thing that links them together: their intertwined hands.

“Time to go, Nayeon.” Jihyo says above a whisper, almost sounding fragile. Giving it one more subtle look, she slowly releases her hold of Nayeon’s hand. 

All of her strength left her, just letting Jihyo let go of her hand until it fell freely to her side. Her heart gets stuck in her throat as Jihyo takes a step back, a wistful smile on her face, trying not to fall apart like she is right now.

“I waited for you, you know?” Jihyo admits as if it was a forbidden confession to make, with every word burning her tongue. “When we became close, I waited. Days, weeks, months...All I ever wished for was for you to say it to me. But you never did.”

“I’m sorry, Ji.” Nayeon says, her voice almost cracking and desperately trying to hide it. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was too late.”

Jihyo nods meekly. “I love you too, Nayeon. But I’m in a relationship now and we’re about to reach the two-year mark.”

“I know.”

“I swear, Nay. I used to be in love with you, and I don’t know if I still am, but we can’t...I can’t—”

“We’re still the best of friends, Jihyo. Nothing will ever change that.” Nayeon assures her, even with tears brimming her eyes. “I won’t let that happen to us. You’re the person that I can never let go.”

Jihyo takes in a shaky breath, blinking rapidly to prevent herself from getting teary-eyed. “I feel the same way. Have a safe trip back home.”

Nayeon clicks her tongue quietly, her mannerism when she finally accepts things. “I will. You too as well. I take it you’ll take the next train?”

Jihyo smiles apologetically. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s best for the both of us.” 

Nayeon then takes a step forward, holding Jihyo’s hands tenderly and with a sense of fragility in it. “You have it. Whether or not you take care it is none of my business anymore. But if ever…” Her voice cracks and in a snap, her facade crumbles. “If ever, whether in this lifetime or in the next, will you bring it back to me?”

“Nayeon, I can’t make that promise.”

The older woman laughs lightly. “I know. But take this with a grain of salt. Bringing it back, should that ever happen, it would mean a lot to me.”

She presses a soft kiss on Jihyo’s cheek, letting the tears fall freely. After what seemed like it’s forever, Nayeon leans back. “Good night...to the love of my life.”

“Good night, Nayeon.”

They part ways, just in time for Nayeon to catch the scheduled ride. Not once did she look over her shoulder to see if Jihyo did the same. For her, she finally said her peace. She can live her daily life without that heavy feeling in her chest ever since Jeongyeon found her breaking down in her dorm room. As the train finally leaves, she catches a glimpse of Jihyo still standing there. The speakers play soft music for the passenger’s entertainment. Hearing the lyrics, Nayeon knows it’s meant for her. 

Maybe God was at her side all along. 

_Love of my life, can't you see?_

_Bring it back, bring it back_

_Don't take it away from me_

_Because you don't know_

_What it means to me_

...

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Well, how was it? :)
> 
> Let me know what you think just by leaving a comment here. Or you could @ me in twitter if you'd like. 
> 
> twitter: @smilexjihyo


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